From the Future
Best Picture Nominees Turned TV Series: 2006-07
CBS has already turned one of this year's Oscar nominees into a TV series. What other movie-to-TV transformations can we all look forward to?
Chicago, starring Christina Applegate and Dina Meyer, Tuesdays at 8 on UPN
Roxie Hart (Applegate) and Velma Kelly (Meyer) have gotten themselves into a spot of trouble in 1920s Chicago. Both have ended up on Murderesses' Row, guarded by the formidable Mama Morton (Kim Coles). Roxie and Velma are both anxious to proclaim their innocence, but there's just one problem: they've both set their sights on the same defense lawyer, Billy Blynn (Barry Bostwick). To whose case will he devote the most attention? Each week, Velma and Roxie set out to monopolize Billy, and set up schemes to sabotage one another's chances. In the premiere episode, Roxie enlists Mama Morton to sneak into Velma's cell when she's in the shower and steal all her clothes; Velma can't very well meet with counsel in a threadbare towel, now, can she? The caper leads Roxie to fantasize Velma starring in a stunning musical number about her unexpected change of costume -- "The Wash Rag." In the next episode, Velma retaliates by challenging Roxie to a singing contest, causing Roxie to lose her voice...and her appointment with Billy. For a special two-part episode in time for November sweeps, Roxie goes too far: she pushes Velma down a flight of stairs, breaking both her ankles. Roxie must spend the second half of the episode dealing with her guilt while spinning glitzily paranoid fantasies about what reprisal Velma has planned. In the end, Velma decides that the tortures of Roxie's conscience are punishment enough, and the two call a truce -- at least until Velma's back on her feet. Who knows what mischief the merry murderesses will cook up for Christmas in Chicago?
Gangs of New York, starring Dylan McDermott and Christopher Kennedy Masterson, Thursdays at 10 on CBS
William "Bill the Butcher" Cutting (McDermott) is the undisputed king of the brutal Five Points neighbourhood in 1860s New York -- at least, until Amsterdam Vallon (Masterson) ambles into Paradise Square wearing hand-me-down clothes and an angry glower. Through flashbacks, we learn that, twenty years earlier, Bill killed Amsterdam's father Priest (Chris Noth) in a gang war, and Amsterdam has returned seeking revenge. Once he's accepted, under false pretenses, into Bill's gang, all that's left is for Amsterdam to pick the perfect moment to do Bill in. Turns out it's not as straightforward as Amsterdam thinks, as one obstacle after another coincidentally appears to prevent Amsterdam from achieving his mission. In the pilot, Amsterdam is about to challenge Bill to a duel when a man from the draft board shows up looking for recruits and must be dispatched with a severe and thorough beating. A few episodes later, Amsterdam is stealing up behind Bill in an alley, preparing to slit Bill's throat, when a pigeon flies into Amsterdam's head, throwing off his timing so that the murder must be postponed once more. All signs seem to augur Bill's disembowelling again in the season finale, but just as Amsterdam is crossing the pub to throw down the gauntlet at Bill's feet, Jenny Everdeane (Bijou Phillips) bursts in to announce that, despite her traumatic abortion years earlier, she's miraculously become pregnant. But who's the father?
The Hours, starring Geena Davis, Melina Kanakaredes, and Kim Delaney, Saturdays at 9 on ABC
Geena Davis stars as Clarissa Vaughan, a harried New York publishing executive looking to pick up the pieces of her life after the death of a beloved friend. Meanwhile, in the 1950s, Laura Brown (Kim Delaney) contemplates suicide, and what the years ahead may hold for her. And, in 1929, famed author Virginia Woolf (Melina Kanakaredes) stands at the side of a river, considering whether to step into the waters and disappear forever. Then, zap! -- a freak electrical storm hits during all three eras. Each woman is struck by an errant bolt of lightning -- thus uniting them in heaven, under the tutelage of a renegade angel named Hap (Joe Pantoliano). Hap explains the trio's new mission: to travel through time together offering comfort to emotionally stunted women in various eras. In the pilot, Virginia befriends a high-school teacher (Nancy McKeon) in 1970s California -- and convinces her to leave her abusive husband (Tom Berenger) by reading her sections from To The Lighthouse. Meanwhile, Laura and Clarissa lay a trap for the teacher's lascivious boss: a swinging high-school principal (Jeffrey Tambor) who won't take no for an answer. Posing as a lesbian couple, Laura and Clarissa lure the principal to a motel for a promised rendezvous. He slides into the bed in the darkened room, only to find a room full of shocked schoolboard trustees, revealed when Hap "zaps" the lights on! Next stop: ancient Rome, where the trio offers counsel to a washerwoman (Kathy Baker) who's spending so much time helping a blind merchant that she's unable -- or unwilling -- to live a life of her own.
The Pianist, starring Alfred Molina, John Lithgow, and Bridget Fonda,
Tuesdays at 10 on CBS
Alfred Molina stars as Wladyslaw Szpilman, the brilliant pianist who escaped the Nazis, in Fox's The Pianist. The show picks up ten years after the film, with Molina now living in 1950s New York. In the premiere, Szpilman's hired to work at The Ivory Coast, a popular downtown piano bar. The bar's owner Horst (John Lithgow) is a courteous but shady German, who's harbouring some war-related secrets of his own. Bridget Fonda plays Jennifer Sanders, the American songstress in possession of a sultry voice and a sullied map that points to buried war treasure -- right under the Ivory Coast's stage! When Jennfer is evicted from her apartment, she winds up sharing Szpilman's flat, while the
pair tries to hide their living arrangements from their stern and conservative German boss. Will Fonda and Molina find their share of the buried loot before Lithgow finds out their sharing an address? Find out in this heartwarming, intrigue-filled drama that combines the best of Schindler's List with Tales of the Gold Monkey.
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, hosted by Pat Bullard, Thursdays at 9 on The WB
Two towering scaffolds, two rings, one married couple! In The WB's new reality show, Pat Bullard guides contestants through a series of daunting challenges, as they struggle to ascend two custom-built towers, level by level. There's one tower for the women and one tower for the men -- orcs need not apply! Eat a handful of "hobbit meat" in under ten seconds and you can climb to the tower's next level. What's "hobbit meat"? You don't want to know! Tune in to cheer for these lords (and ladies) of the ring -- the wedding ring, that is!
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