Last week saw the premiere of Joan of Arcadia, the new teen drama in which a young girl gets direct instructions from God, who appears to her in the form of a brooding teen boy with sideburns and a vintage coat. You might be thinking: If this religiously themed, punningly titled show is a hit, what similar shows might we expect to see in the future?

Well, who cares if you "might" be thinking that, because Fametracker has already thought it.

Not only that, we've used our patented Fametracker technology to look into the future, determine the actual plots of said future shows, and then list synopses of these shows below for your edification. No need to thank us. Well, not more than once, anyway.

Doubting Thomas; Thursdays at 9 on The WB

Brendan Fehr stars as Thomas Von Doubts, a high school sophomore with a problem -- namely, his new science teacher, Mr. Diablo (Freddie Prinze Jr.). That's Jesus Diablo, to be exact. But should Thomas call him by his first name -- or his last? You see, when Mr. Diablo takes over the Science Club, Thomas -- a long-time science star -- realizes that the new teacher is more than just adept with chemistry. In fact, his skills are downright...miraculous. But are Jesus Diablo's powers heaven sent -- or spurred by darker forces from below? In the pilot, Mr. Diablo warns Thomas that he'll defy him three times before the final Science Fair presentation. When Thomas does just that -- the third time refusing Mr. Diablo's request that he "share the joke with the whole class" -- will it spell doom for his entire science team? And if so, what does that mean for Thomas? And how does Jesus Diablo fit into all this, aside from being the science teacher, as mentioned earlier? Either way, it's a new testament -- to excitement!

Samson & DeLillo; Fridays at 9 on CBS

Rob Samson (BeastMaster's Daniel Goddard) is quite happy being an unusually strong car mechanic with unfashionably long hair, thank you very much -- at least, until Danny DeLillo (Robert Pastorelli) enters the picture. After bringing in his car for an emergency repair, DeLillo is jumped at the auto shop by a gang of black-clad thugs -- and only Samson's strong-armed intervention saves him. Overcome with gratitude, DeLillo tells Samson about his crusade to locate his lost sister Lily (Jennifer Beals), whom he believes was kidnapped by a shadowy kingpin named Phil Estein (Ron Silver). But can DeLillo be trusted? Or is he too working for Estein's empire -- and if so, what does he want with Samson? And why is he carrying those scissors all the time? Whatever the answers, Samson & DeLillo promises to be "shear" adventure!

The H.G.; Sundays at 9 on Fox

The Heavenly Gates, that is! And who better to stand guard at The H.G. than Crispin "Saint" Peters (Eddie Griffin) and John "Archangel" Batista (Nicholas Turturro), two former NFL Europe football all-stars who were killed tragically in a sports-car pile-up. Now these two gridiron rivals find themselves giving thumbs-up or thumbs-down on aspirants for the afterlife! They could never get along on (or off) the football field on Earth; can they learn to call the plays together to keep blasphemers out of Heaven? Or will "Saint" Peters welcome the wrong bitch to the H.G.? Either way, they're going to learn a lesson in interracial co-operation -- and friendship. God (David Ogden Stiers) doesn't play favourites, and unless they shape up, He's not about to lay odds on these two making their way past the gates themselves! It's the dramedy that will make you confess -- to loving it!

Saint Francis of Assistant Volleyball Coach; Mondays at 8 on NBC

Michael Rapaport stars as Francis Connors, the newest addition to the St. Xavier Catholic School's volleyball team, as its new assistant coach. Connors has dreamed of coaching volleyball at St. X ever since he was a prep-squad volleyball star himself; he literally dreamed it, night after night. Now he's the new assistant to the legendary -- and legendarily crusty -- Coach "Pop" Pius the Third (Troy Evans). Their team has the best hope in years to lead the school to the promised land. There's only one problem -- the school's most promising prospect, Gabriel Lamb (Jesse Bradford), now believes that God frowns on volleyball. It seems his new girlfriend, Mary Magdalenio (Jordana Brewster), has been planting the wrong ideas in his head. Coach Pius thinks that converting the moody Gabriel is a lost cause, but Francis has other plans. Can Connors lead Lamb back into the fold in time for the state finals, while also addressing the problems of other students whose problems are played out in shorter story arcs that resolve themselves in one episode? Together, Pius, Connors and Lamb form a blessed volleyball trinity -- Father, Son, and Holey Moley, Did You See That Spike?!

Shadrach, Meshach and Abe Vigoda; Wednesdays at 9 on UPN

What happens when two roommates (Anthony Anderson, Kadeem Hardison) -- and struggling Def Jam comics -- come face to face with their next door neighbour -- who happens to be God, and who appears in the person of Abe Vigoda (Himself)? We can't say for sure, but we know this -- it will involve hilarious stories about them getting smacked by their mamas! Smacked right in the face, child! When sassy comedy meets the ultimate Deity, get ready for a communion -- of holiness and hilarity!