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Do You Have an Insouciant Pet?

As the release this weekend of Kangaroo Jack confirms, there's nothing America loves more than a jive-talking, back-sassing, money-snatching, old-school-rapping animal. Especially if that animal's wearing sunglasses. Especially if they're those Ray-Bans that Tom Cruise wore in Risky Business. Damn, that's insouciant!

In fact, insouciant animals are one of Hollywood's biggest growth sectors. Have you ever sat through Snow Dogs, Cats & Dogs, or Men in Black II, thrilling to the antics of these wild animals and musing: I wish I could get a piece of that action! Well, it's possible that, right now, you might be living with an insouciant animal -- one that could soon be earning tens of thousands of dollars starring in crowd-pleasing comedies and kicking Jerry O'Connell in the nuts! And if your pet is making money, guess who's really getting paid -- you!

Here, Fametracker presents an easy quiz to help you determine if your furry domestic partner is another Kangaroo Jack, or simply another Kangaroo kangaroo. Give yourself one point for each "YES!" answer, and bonus points as indicated. Good luck!

1. Does your pet sometimes seem to know what you're thinking?

2. Does your pet sometimes seem to be "listening" to your conversations?

3. Does your pet sunbathe?

4. Does your pet ever visibly smile at your jokes?

5. Does your pet wear clothing?

  • Is it Hawaiian-print clothing? +1

6. Does your pet wear sunglasses?

  • Are they Risky Business sunglasses? +2

7. Does your pet speak with an accent?

  • Is it a Brooklyn accent? +1
  • An Australian accent? +2 -- mate!

8. Does your pet find human women attractive?

9. Does your pet tip down his sunglasses to check out passing women in bikinis?

10. Does your pet leer at females of his own species and make cracks about their "teats"?

11. If your pet has something you want (say, a slipper or bag of money you've stolen from the Mob), and you're chasing your pet, and you think you've finally get your pet cornered, does your pet always slip away from your grasp at the last moment, causing you to fall into a nearby pastry or puddle of mud?

  • Does this make your pet visibly snicker? +1

12. Has your pet ever conspired with other pets to harm, detain or deceive you?

13. Does your pet have a facility with knots?

14. Does your pet ever know the words to "Rapper's Delight"?

  • Hint: Try singing "A-hip, a-hip, a-hip, a-hippity, a-hip-hip-hop and you don't stop" to your pet. Gauge reaction. Have a pen ready!

15. Have you ever seen your pet in the company of Cuba Gooding, Jr.?

Scores:

16 - 21 Congratulations! You have an insouciant pet! We'd suggest you book two seats on the next flight to Hollywood -- if your pet hasn't already stolen your wallet, nabbed your car keys, grabbed a few foxy bitches and headed out there himself!

10 - 15 Your pet might not be the next Spuds McKenzie, but he/she still sounds like one rascally critter. Don't give up hope -- remember, it doesn't take much to outwit David Arquette!

5 - 9 Sounds like your four-legged friend could use a few "cool" lessons. Give him/her a little encouragement by dressing him/her in a tiny leather jacket and shades. Take him/her for a walk around the block. Shout "Show me the money!" to him/her a few times. Worst-case scenario, you'll both get hit by lightning and switch bodies. Then the hilarity starts!

0 - 4 Your pet sucks.

- MFF