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Oh, Anne Heche. We knew you'd be back.
Seriously, is this a great country or what? You can be one-half of the most high-profile lesbian couple in the country, then go wacko, then dump your partner, then marry that guy over there, then talk to aliens in your bathrobe, then write a loopy book, then show up on some farmer's doorstep, asking for directions to Neptune -- and still, still, the Man can't keep you down.
Okay, maybe we got some of the details wrong and the events out of order. But the point is this: Anne Heche, you are excellent!
And as far as attractive-but-not-threateningly-attractive romantic foils go, we always thought Anne Heche did a bang-up job. Not that we sat through Six Days, Seven Nights, a movie so boring that its title should have won some sort of truth-in-advertising award. But from what we caught of Volcano on TV that one night, she was rocking! Boy, did she get up in the face of Tommy Lee Jones! She was tough -- but attractive! But not too attractive! Wicked!
And, in all seriousness, there must be something about her that attracts great directors, because she keeps getting cast in pretty interesting films. Like Wag the Dog. And Birth, this new film from Jonathan Glazer, who directed the really excellent Sexy Beast.
Which is odd, because if you'd have asked us a few years back about Heche's career prospects during that really dark patch -- you know, between Call Me Crazy and the stuntcasting guest spots on Ally McBeal -- we'd have said, if she's lucky, maybe an off-lead on some ABC sitcom about love among yuppie architects. And that's best-case scenario. More likely, we were thinking maybe a late-night skin-care infomercial, while platooning with Bruce Vilanch on the bottom left-hand square. And we do this for a living!
But here she is, back on the big screen. Heche was in John Q and she's in Birth and she's got a few movies it the pipeline, which is to say her career's pretty much back to where it was pre-freak-out and flame-out, before she became America's most famous cuckoo cuckold.
Don't ask us how it works! Poor Pee-wee Herman gets caught once doing something natural in an adult theatre and he disappears off the face of the earth for the better part of a decade. Yet Heche barely takes a hiatus. Which is great. And even Ellen has bounced back as the queen of daytime talk! Who says there are no happy endings in Hollywood?
As for fame, well, Heche has had more than her share. We're sure she'd agree. We're guessing she'd give some back gladly, along with those stacks of remaindered copies of Call Me Crazy. So we're happy to take it. We'll always serve as a drop-off depot for used fame -- you know, like the place you dump old paint cans. Trust us -- we know how to dispose of it safely.
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