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Like so many of the best H!ITG!s, Frances Fisher first found her way onto our pop-culture radar with a memorable role on that character-actor sweatshop Law & Order. (See also: Caroline Aaron, Paul Calderon, etc.) In "Animal Instinct," Fisher plays Susan Boyd, apparently the mistress of university professor Donald Walsh, whose wife Faye (a fellow prof) is found murdered in her office at the start of the episode. All the evidence points to a collusion between Donald and Susan, to kill Faye, except for one thing: Donald is staunch in his denials of any affair with Susan. As the episode progresses, it comes out that Donald isn't the first distinguished professional to whom Susan has linked herself; she previously passed herself off as a legal scholar to work for a judge (impressing him mightily with her acumen). It also becomes clear that Donald isn't lying, and that Susan is just...well, how to put it? Bitch crazy. The cops find an enormous stalker's shrine to Donald in the beach house Susan's rented just down the way from Donald's. Susan's so far gone that, when confronted directly by the object of her delusional affections, she produces, as evidence of their affair, what she terms a love letter: an administrative note he had left in the university department on the night of his wife's murder, indicating that she'd be working late and requesting that Security check in on her. Susan killed Faye! Because she's cray-zee!

The reason for this very detailed recap is that Susan Boyd is vintage Frances Fisher. Granted, Susan is a lot more completely insane than some of Fisher's other signature roles have been, but the classic Fisher characteristics are there. She's a spitfire, in that she is redheaded, short, and full of gumption. (You know, in the sense that it takes serious balls to pull off and almost get away with first-degree murder.) And she's steely, in that she doesn't waver from her purpose -- not once; even when she's staring Donald down with her crazy, crazy eyes, she's perfectly steady. And very smart: the episode ends with Susan, having fired her lawyer, writing herself one of the best motions Ben Stone (Michael Moriarty, speaking of crazy-zee) has apparently ever read. Susan Boyd, clearly, isn't someone you'd want to be a bridesmaid at your wedding, but she is kind of someone you might want to sit next to at a boring dinner party, because all her uncharitable observations about others would be dead on and clever, and she'd have no compunction about expressing them to you. (Of course, then she might develop a crush on your host, and you'd have to give her the brush-off before she tried to hump his leg or something.)

Every Fisher role we've seen is some mix of those three predominant attributes: smarts, steeliness, and spitfire-osity. In Titanic, Fisher played Ruth DeWitt Bukater, mother to Kate Winslet's Rose. That one was all smarts and steel, as she schemed to shore up the family's declining finances by making Rose a good match, to Billy Zane's Cal Hockley. Yes, it's true that Cal kind of loses his shit and goes on a jealous rampage against Leonardo DiCaprio's Jack Dawson, but one could very well argue that it's Rose's fault for dicking Cal around. (Those of us who don't think the movie is the greatest love story of all time would argue that, certainly.) Anyway, the smart and steely Ruth has no patience for Rose's juvenile romantic notions and points out to her that marriage is not about love. It's about big, tacky, obscenely expensive jewels. You're goddamn right, Ruth.

Fisher was equally delightful -- not to mention all three of smart, steely, and spitfiresque -- in the little-seen and underrated mockumentary The Big Tease. As Candy, publicist to the stars (including Sean Connery), Fisher is initially frosty and imperious at the pleas of dimwitted Scottish hairdresser Crawford Mackenzie (Craig Ferguson). But he sees through her flinty exterior to the vulnerable, split-ended bunny rabbit within, and as Crawford gives her a sassy new haircut, befitting such a spitfire, they bond and become best friends. She gets him into a prestigious hair competition, which he wins, and all is well. It's a triumphant defense of every hard-bitten bitch in the history of Hollywood.

Lately, Fisher has been plying her particular brand of steel and fire-spitting on NBC's embattled legal drama The Lyon's Den. The show -- which was pulled for November sweeps, since which time the network has aired one (1) episode -- can't seem to decide whether it's a glamorous primetime soap that happens to be set in a law firm, or the serious dramatic tale of do-gooder lawyer Jack Turner (Rob Lowe) compromised by the machinations of his Senator father (Rip Torn) and manipulated into working for the very conscience-free lawyers he's always hated. Fisher plays Brit Hanley, the smartest and most bad-ass secretary at the firm. We also learned a few episodes in that Brit was once romantically linked to Jack's father -- and, given that Brit and Sen. Turner, as far as we've seen so far, are both amoral schemers, it's an awesome pairing to contemplate. If we ever thought the show was going to air again, we might express the wish of seeing Fisher and Torn share a scene By which we mean, share a healthy serving of scenery. Brit is by far the most interesting character on the show -- plotting behind the scenes, smashing people's beloved guitars, and slapping her boss right in the kisser! Fisher seems to be the only one who realizes that the show could be a very serviceable pulp drama in the manner of The Firm if Rob Lowe didn't insist that his character be a morally superior, and therefore dull, hero. Brit rules.

Here's where we should mention -- just so we don't get nagged later for not mentioning -- that Fisher spent a season each on Becker (never saw it), Titus (ditto), and Glory Days (you guessed it); that she was, for a time, Clint Eastwood's girlfriend and had a baby with him (unfortunately named Francesca, ouch); that she stars in this week's House of Sand and Fog, which we don't intend to see, partly because one wag on the FT forums has already re-dubbed it Give Me Back My House!; and that she starred in Lucy & Desi: Before the Laughter as the original smart, steely spitfire, Lucille Ball. Which was probably a big break for Fisher at the time, even though we happen to think Fisher is way too cool to play someone so legendarily shrill and unfunny.

Here's to you, Frances Fisher. We prefer to imagine that you're slapping someone on the set of The Lyon's Den right now. And we really hope it's Rob Lowe.